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When it rains it pours….

Hi Everyone!!!     Happy Valentines day <3

Normally I write once every 3-6 weeks.. I
guess it depends on what is happening and for a while it was quiet.  But
everything seems to be exploding right now, and this is my third post within 10
days I think.  I’ve been sitting in thought for days… feeling.. experiencing..
and in wonder of what the heck???  Things I thought I had dealt with a long time
ago are resurfacing.. in a big way!!  I was told through the attunements Im
getting that things would get stirred up.. and then released… she wasnt just a
kidding! I knew things I’d already dealt with would come about.. though in all
honesty I thought it would be easy.  (yes yes I know… you can stop laughing
now. *grin*)   I figured if I’d already dealt with the issue and resolved it in
my mind.. how bad could it be?  Well… healing and releasing old energies head
on isn’t that simple.  I think that is why I love my energy work so much… I
can help people do this without all the reliving of those issues.  Not sure why
it’s so different for me.. but I believe it’s because I’m on an accelerated path
by choice.  My body and mind will still only go at the pace that is safe for me
to handle emotionally… but it is moving along quicker than it has in the
past.  I’m ok with this.  As painful as it can be at times… it’s the only way
to move forward.
What I’m going to share here I went back and forth about for quite a while… it will
effect each of you in different ways.  But for me it’s extremely personal.
Reliving this “dream” and writing about it is for one purpose.  That it might
help someone who has gone through something similar.  And if you have… My
heart reaches out to you.
In my most recent post I told you about the
mediumship class and what occurred there.  What Deb told me in that class is
directly connected to what happened just this past weekend.  Gotta love
synchronicity!  She told me that I was holding onto something very deep.. and it
was affecting my chakras. And in doing so it also effected my clairvoyance.
Made sense.  Only I honestly believed I had already dealt with major issues in
my life and put them behind me.  So as much as what she was saying made sense…
I couldn’t figure out what was so deep inside me that it was blocking

Well this past weekend was my second of 4 weekend long workshops for my Soul Therapy
Practitioner certification.  It’s a wonderful program for anyone that really
wants to work on themselves and dive into who you are and why you are here.
(  Saturday went great… lots of learning and
realizations.  Saturday night was different.  I came home and was exhausted as
most of us were… went to bed early and went out like a light.  I woke up at 3
am though from what I can only consider another realization… though in that
moment it was anything but that.  I had this “dream”, though it was as vivid and
clear as any memory in real life.  I was brought to a home of someone I knew.
There were two men.. one was the one who brought me and there was something
different about him.  I believe he was challenged in some way. Though Im not
sure. He disappeared soon after bringing me.  I was there to help this other
man.  Though I cant remember the details now…  But I knew it was my time to go
and I was looking for my purse.. and it wasn’t to be found… I searched for a
while and finally found it in an odd place… but then I couldn’t find my
jacket… so again I searched…  once I had what I needed I began to leave..
only this man wasn’t going to allow me to leave.

I remember while I was searching for my
things that I needed to be out of this house but didnt know why… something
felt off.  Now I understood.  He had other plans for me.  This person had the
face of someone on TV… but I realize now that was because my mind could not
handle seeing who it was.  But I knew this person.  He forced me to the floor…
and I remember looking at him and saying, “I liked you before this moment” and
thinking.. it didn’t need to be this way.  I could see the smile and the sick
perverse thrill he was getting from what he was going to do.

I’ve had dreams like this many times before
but I always freeze in fear and then wake up.  This time I wasn’t frozen… and
I wasn’t waking up.  I saw his sick thrill on his face and in that moment I was
like… “no way.. not again, not again”  and in my mind I decided to turn this
around… I was going to take his thrill away and do to him what he was trying
to do to me.  As much as the thought made my skin crawl.. I thought it would
stop him from coming after me… so I started to pretend I was going to take
HIM.  Starting to undo HIS clothes.  If I can take away this thrill he’ll stop
and let me go.  Only what I didn’t understand was how angry he’d get.  He hit
me!  He hit hard.  Only I didn’t feel the pain… I got infuriated!  NOONE hits
me!  (Weird huh?  someone can try to rape me, and I freeze in fear, but hit me
and watch out!)  I went ballistic on this man… only that’s when it went really
bad for me.. I wasn’t going to win this battle… but as it got really bad I
woke up.

I laid there and cried for a long time… then I started to stuff this away.. I
wasn’t going to feel it.. wasn’t going to let it take hold of me..  That’s when
I realized that maybe Im not supposed to stuff it away… again.  Maybe Im
supposed to let it out and let it go!  That’s when Deb’s words (from class) came
to me…  maybe this was what was so deep inside of me that needed to come out.
So I laid there and just cried… then I asked the angels to please take it
away.. I didn’t want it anymore.  I didn’t know how to release this so I asked
them to help me…
The next morning in class I explained what
happened…  They helped me realize that in that “dream”, I had taken my power
back.  Regardless of what the ending was… I did not freeze, I fought back.
After we had all shared our nights with each other…  we had a meditation.. and
in that meditation, Archangel Metatron came in… but soon after Jesus and
Mother Mary came in as well.  When Jesus came in… I knew why… and when
Mother Mary came in… I cried hard.  I realized they had been with me the whole
time.  They have been with me for a while now.  There was an immense healing
that took place that morning..not just for me.. but for everyone. 

When I woke up this morning this dream that
had been so vivid was now a blur… almost completely gone.  I felt such
peace… I answered a few emails… put out my valentine on FB for everyone…
then WHAM!!!  The mother of all migraines!  But this was no ordinary migraine…
I”ve had those.. they come on gradually and I can use energy to get rid of
them… this was different.. and came on so fast I couldn’t do a thing to handle
it.  I started to eat as I knew if I was going to take a pill I had to have food
in me.. though I felt sick already.. so this was not fun!  I came on here and
wrote to my “angel” friends and explained what was going on and asked for them
to send energy asap!! I knew this was a major releasing of negative energy… a
releasing of all that I had held in me for so long that had been healed the day
before… all that had to come out.. and was it ever coming out!!!  I sent the
email and crashed!!
I had nothing happening today..nowhere to I just slept.  When I awoke Everything was a blur.  But the dream came in
my mind… and a person very close to me… and in that moment I knew there was
more.  I cried hard for a while.. then picked up the phone and called.  Her
tears confirmed what I had come to realize in those moments after I woke up.  I
had wondered why this dream was so strong.. so vivid..  My experience wasn’t
anything like that.  Then I realized it wasn’t just mine.  We were connected.  I
asked Mother Mary if in the healing that had happened.. and the clearing…
would she also be cleared of the effects of this experience?  And she said
yes.    In that moment so much became clear…   This dream… where I would
normally freeze… but didn’t.  It was her strength that gave me the strength to
fight back… for us both.  I was always too afraid..  but with this, I couldn’t
allow it to be her.   I took on the fight but she gave me the strength to do
it.  It was like we were one in that moment.  Together we beat this.  I can only
hope that she allows herself to feel this and then truly sets it free.  It does
not own us anymore.
A very good friend of mine once asked me… “Aren’t you worried what all this
energy work will do… what it will stir up? Memories? How they will effect
you?”  All I can say is that I’m not afraid anymore.  I have faced my worst
demon and I’m still here.  And if there is more… bring it on!  I can’t move
forward if I let the past take hold of me.  And there is too much I want to do
in this life.
Thank you all for your support and being
with me on this journey…It means everything!

***Angel Blessings***


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